Monday, 21 December 2009
This unexpected and early admission has got me in a spin. Suddenly everything is too fast, and ahead a long lonely night.
I arrive at the hypnotherapist's street eased already by the familiarity. It is muffled by snow, I get the Christmas/Thank You flowers out of the car and scrunch my way towards her house. Opening the wrought iron gate sqeaks on its hinge.
In the room, now familiar noises greet me. The hiss of the fire, the tick of the clock, and now a Christmas tree as well. She used to be a nurse and so is familiar with the kind of process I am facing. This inside view is very comforting.
At first it is just a conversation but as always she asks questions which make me think, reach back into my memory, and reach forward in my mind. Not as simple as it seems - this conversation.
Then relaxation followed by a journey in the mind, some of which I don't really remember. A journey to a peaceful calm place.
Next a drive home crawling through the rush hour traffic trying to steady my thoughts. Back home cook some egg fried rice. Eat. Then shower letting the water heat the skin and calm the nerves.
Saying goodbye to my oldest son, who is engaged in some weird game.
"Until we meet again" I say
"Only a few days" he says
Leaving the house with a lump in my throat. Clare drives, I try to breath like the hypnotherapist has said. The journey into the dark has started.
Everything changes so suddenly.